Do's & Don't's for Mediation
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
DO- Focus on the needs of your child/ children, as ultimately the mediator and the courts will take this perspective
- Where appropriate, separate the concept of "child custody" from feelings you have towards your ex-partner and arguments you have with your ex-partner - remember that the needs of your child/ children are the focus
- Address your child's special needs by considering his or her education level, health, development, age etc
- Give credit to your ex-partner regarding his or her parenting skills where that credit is due - this kind of magnanimous behaviour reflects well on you
- Realise that your child will most likely benefit most from spending time with both of his or her parents
- Attend mediation with a proposed parenting plan
- Try your hardest to display a professional and business-like attitude
- Prepare for the mediation as much as possible, preferably by seeking legal advice in advance
DON'T
- Focus on your own needs to the exclusion of your child's needs - the mediator is not interested in your needs, except where they affect your child/ children
- Bring up issues regarding an impending property settlement, divorce or child support issues when the mediation is designed to agree on a parenting plan
- Be hasty... arriving at a mutually acceptable parenting plan that does justice to your child/ children is the goal, and this may take some time
- Be aggressive or insulting to your ex-partner - this will only reflect poorly on you in the eyes of the mediator
- Try to punish your ex-partner by trying to get as much time with the child/ children as possible, simply to spite your ex-partner
- Turn up to mediation completely unprepared...